ADVISORY: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE

You have been warned. Strong language will be used in this post, as it is reflective of my frustrated emotional state.

I think Q*Bert said it best: "#*&%^@^%)~:#$%&)$*%^!!!"

Fucking Countrywide. They dick us around for nearly eighty days, fuck around with a "missing" appraisal, and now they have the nerve to ask the seller for a promissory note?!?

What. The. Fuck.

What they're asking is this: we purchase the house, and they task the seller with paying off the remainder of the mortgage. For example, if the seller owes $100,000 and we buy the house for $70,000, Countrywide's investors want the seller to still be on the hook for the remaining $30,000. Never mind that this is a short sale (meaning the seller can't keep up with the payments) and the house goes into foreclosure on June 12th. No, forget all that. What's important is how much these mongloid fucksticks can get out of a home that a)has sat vacant for two years, b)has been on the market for a year, and c)has one and only one offer - ours - since it's been up for sale.

<sarcasm>
Frankly, I'm surprised. With such sound business practices and willingness to work with potential buyers, it's shocking that they're being bought out by Bank of America.
</sarcasm>

I'm sick of being chainsawed in the scrotum just when it seems we're about to have our offer accepted. Countrywide has done nothing but hinder us in our attempts to purchase this house. From the "missing" appraisal to the sudden request of a promissory note, it seems like they don't want to sell this property.

Well, good luck to them. Good luck getting fuck all for that property. In nine days it goes into foreclosure, and enjoy paying $5,700 a year in taxes.

Maybe your former president can float you a loan from his $28 million severance package.

I'll be rescinding my offer shortly, by means of letting a diarrhetic pachyderm loose in your home office. Just to show I'm not a complete ass, I'll send along a spork so you can dig yourself out. Seems only fair, after the kindness you've shown me.