Gesundheit.

In my last post, mentioned that we adopted a nifty new cat from Crash's Landing. Along with the cat, we received a bag of goodies (cat toys, treats, etc.). However, the cat brought along a special treat of his own: an upper respiratory infection. We're not sure if it was something he had earlier, or if he caught a chill during the trip from Grand Rapids to our home, but by Sunday he was sneezing and wheezing something fierce.

We contacted "Dr. Jen," the amazing veterinary force behind Crash's Landing, and she immediately dispatched medicine for our poor sickly kitty. She planned ahead, and included enough for Manny as well. This was definitely great planning, as Manny soon started sneezing and wheezing.

If you've never had a cat sneeze in your face, I highly recommend it. There's nothing like the spray (and taste) of tuna-scented spittle as it splashes against your face. Intrigued? Have the cat do it again for the next two to three days.

The meds came with oral syringes. These are unique torture devices for humans with cats designed by people who have never dealt with a cat in their lives. The basic methodology for dispensing meds via oral syringe to a cat is this:

• 1. Load syringe with the appropriate dosage. Place syringe out of sight and smell of cat; if you don't do this the cat will go missing for the better part of the night.


• 2. Pick up cat. This is harder than it sounds, because any cat worth its salt will instantly read your body language and want nothing to do with you. This is probably a good time to remind yourself that kitty does in fact, have claws and teeth.


• 3. Sit down, and hold the cat firmly in your lap. Brace the cat against your chest. This will aid in getting the meds into the cat, and hopefully will prevent you from getting bitten/scratched.


• 4. Take the syringe, and waggle it around near the back of the cat's jaw until they open their mouth. When they do, depress the plunger, and hope you have a firm grasp on the cat. If all goes well, the cat will naturally swallow the meds. If all doesn't go well, you'll be covered in cat spittle and meds.


• OPTIONAL STEP 5: If you didn't carefully read step four and lost your grip on the cat, you'll need to repeat the above steps after you retrieve the cat from under the bed/chair/front deck.

You'll also need to be prepared for the cat to sulk afterwards. There's nothing quite like a sulking cat; they have an innate non-verbal method of making you feel like the scum of the earth. Picture this: you've forgotten your significant other's birthday, your anniversary, and just killed their fern. All in the same day. This, my friends, is nothing compared to what a cat that believes its been wronged will throw your way. Be prepared to make amends with treats, tuna, and - in dire circumstances - catnip.

On the plus side, both cats are feeling better. Larry's runny nose is down to a trickle, and Manny's snot-bubbles have decreased greatly in size and number. Once the tuna-scented spittle stops billowing forth, I'll know they're completely healthy.

Until then, I'll be pointing the cat away from me.