To the person driving the Big-Ass™ truck, redneck edition:

I saw you this morning, at 6:35am. I saw you run two flashing red stoplights at Diamond and Cherry. I saw your truck as you nearly took the front end of off my car as you went through said lights at break-neck speed.

Were you drunk, or just in a hurry to get home? Did you not think that people go through that area at that time of the morning? Or did you just not care? Or, as is most likely the case, were you chatting on your cell phone, too oblivious to everything else around you?

After narrowly missing you (i.e. I could count the flecks of paint on your passenger side rear quarter-panel), I watched as you swerved drunkenly down Diamond. Not a care in the world; not even bothering to stop to check to see if the person you narrowly avoided colliding with was fine. That was probably the best thing you could have done, honestly - had you stopped, I would have been obliged to return your head to where it undoubtedly belongs: straight up your ass.

I can only hope that in the future you will exercise a bit more care. After all, it is winter and the roads are icy. Just because your vehicle has four-wheel drive does not mean that you are freakin' unstoppable; on icy roads it just means that you're spinning four tires instead of two. Just because you sit a couple of feet higher in your vehicle does not make you superior; rather, it makes others wonder what you are compensating for.

Please, for the love of whichever deity you follow, pull your head out. Watch out for others. They put those big shiny flashy colour-coded lights on the roads for a reason, and - no matter where you are - red means stop.

Thank you for your time, and kindly die horribly in a fire with snakes attached to your eyeballs.